You’ve been Eboue’d

So all my worst fears were realised last Saturday. It was the first match of the season, and that usually means sunny pitches and a bit of a festive atmosphere with everyone happy to finally see some real football after a long break. It also means seeing the new strip, and hopefully one of two new signings in a team you honestly believe will win everything in the universe.

Why the hell then did we get Emmanuel Eboué in centre midfield? Seriously.. what is it with Arsene and this guy. But i’ve thought about this long and hard and I think I’ve figured it out. See.. it all makes sense when you think about it. See… I remember a time when us Gooners were able to laugh at those muppet’s down the road for their inability to keep players fit (see Darren Anderton). But over the past 3 or 4 seasons, we seem to have become unusually injury prone as a team. Coincidentally, Emmanuel Eboué has been with us for roughly the same amount of time. Of course in his early days he often got a start at right back, and so we didn’t get too much trouble from him, but more recently, with the fans pressuring Wenger to drop him, he has had to take matters into his own hands. Obviously if Eboué dropped out of the first team, soon enough he’d be let go. and no other manager in his right mind would pay him to play football! 

First he tampered with Freddie Ljungberg and Tomas Rosicky using an ancient surgery technique he learnt in the wilds of the Cote D’Ivoire, replacing their fit and healthy muscles with rubber bands. This obviously gave him a clear run at the right wing spot as right back was now off limits with the arrival of our golden haired wonder, Bacary Sagna. But no… that was never going to be enough. When Arsene replaced Freddie, with Theo from The Cosby Show, and Alex Hleb came in he had to rethink things. He could probably beat up Theo in the showers, he was but a kid, but the pasty Belarussian was obviously a different story. He was already pretty bendy so the rubber band trick would probably not work. So instead he befriended Hleb, telling him of how he once spent a summer in Mar Bella, and it was the best time in his life. Down there, he told Alex, they appreciate the lesser understood art of not shooting. Of course in the short term, he needed another plan to keep his place in the side. There was that cocky Dutch kid who kept putting the ball through his legs at training. So when Arsene wasn’t looking, he shoved his kneecap up his a#$@. This meant the pasty kid who couldn’t shoot would obviously now play as a second striker (???) and the right wing slot would again be his. 

Of course even Eboué had to get injured. And while he was out, young Theo went and dazzled everyone against Liverpool. So Eboué had to temporarily give up his designs on right wing and looked instead to right back again. That Sagna certainly was a hard b*stard.. with those golden serpents he had coming out of his head. But when he wasn’t looking he tied his golden braids to the back of Gael Clichy’s boots. Gael set off in a sprint doing about Mach 2 as he always does, ripping Sagna’s head clean off, putting him out of contention for the remainder of the season. But of course, that stupid Swiss bloke who looks like Frankenstein’s monster dobbed him in to Le Gaffer, and thus the second best player in the Ivory Coast, according to Emmanuel, was shoved out at right back instead and Eboué was again on the bench. 

There wasn’t much hope for Eboué by this stage. He had lost right back and right wing. He had to think outside the box. And then it all just fell into place. He hid Mathieu Flamini’s favourite Parker Pen, leaving him unable to sign the new deal Arsenal were offering and eventually upset, he moved to Milan. There was that strangely shaped French kid with the attitude problem who didn’t even stay long enough to be plotted against. The other lads said his boots were too big… no wonder he ran so strangely. And the old Brazilian geezer was already set on spending his retirement eating gyros and olives and bunked off to Greece. And then all that was left was that Spanish golden child and the lanky french bloke with one foot on backwards………. 

And of course that is just a theory, but I think you all know it makes sense. With Cesc returning, and Denilson playing a good game, expect Samir Nasri to now fall foul of a mysterious muscle injury any minute now. 

Oh.

Technical difficulties…Last day to win a free St Michael Thomas t-shirt..

Firstly Gooner’s a big welcome back, as you may have noticed there’s been no new post since last week Thursday this is all due to ‘techincal difficulties’. Anyhow we seem to be up and running now a bit like our young ‘uns. Paul Wright our roving reporter’s column was due to be posted on Friday prior to our opening win of the season against northern monkeys West Brom of the Albion where Samir Nasri scored a debutant goal. Just think another ten goals from the youngster and we WILL all be thinking Alex Who? Any road up take your mind back pre-weekend and read the post below and enjoy it Gooner’s, some of the content has been changed slightly just to confuse you into thinking you’ve just stepped out of a time machine. Please – read on.

Lightweights to win the league… 

Looking at the Arsenal squad for the match played last week against FC Twente was a strange thing. Here we were playing a game, which along with the return leg back at The Grove, was worth 20 Million Euros for the winner, and we were going into it with a 17yr old debutante at the heart of our team, hoping to be dragged through by the relative experience of a 19yr old with just 23 appearances for the club. I know it’s Olympic season, and the gymnasts and divers all seem to be getting younger, but this was getting ridiculous. We had 16 year old Jack Wilshere on the bench just in case one of the ‘older’ pro’s got injured. It’s just mental. 

But we got through the away game, and I guess it’s all experience for our kids. And we beat Steve McClaren.. and that makes me very happy indeed. They now have to come back to our place by which time we should have Cesc and Nasri back, Touré should be fit, and fingers crossed for no injuries we should spank them good and proper. Still no signings though, and with a lot of our reputed targets going and cup toeing themselves it’s starting to get a bit worrying. But I’m sure Le Gaffer has a plan to bring in a 4 yr old goalkeeper from Finland and will convert him into a rugged hard tackling midfielder in the Vieira mould. 

Still, the strange thing is, despite all this youth and me panicking, we’re not actually doing to bad so far. We hardly struggled in pre-season and a lot of our fringe players look like they could step up, Bendtner in particular looked very impressive. And if this slightly lightweight squad can win things and force our inexperienced players to quickly gain experience, then when the likes of Rosicky and Eduardo get back, things might not look nearly so bad. 

In other news our old friend Jose Moaninho has been spouting off a lot recently about us. I couldn’t be bothered to read any of it to be honest – can’t someone run him over repeatedly with a bus? With spikes on the tyres. Then parade his pulped head around the ground at the first game of the season. That would really make me feel a lot better about football in Europe. I’m sure the ‘mind games’ will begin with Sir Manure shortly too. A week before the season he always seems to decide to take a swipe at whoever is threatening him that particular week. Trouble is, until they get a translator in, nobody can understand a word he says. And while we are busily worrying about our lads, United have no Ronaldo and Rooney is off round the back of the training sheds having five quick cigarettes, and Liverpool are doing their usual trick of forgetting to score goals. We know Sp*rs will implode and Chelski.. well who knows about them. They could just as soon appoint Vladimir Putin as their new manager should ‘Big Phil’ not win 9 – 0 in his opening fixture. So all in all i’m quite hopeful for this season, despite the slight concerns about our squad depth. 

Anyway… see y’all on the other side kids… lets get some of those Chinese synchronised divers in – they seem to know how to win stuff and if nothing else would probably win a shed load of free kicks!

More questions than answers and other bits…

With the season only a month away, and our first pre-season game against Barnet this weekend, there are still a lot of questions that need answering. I of course, don’t have any of these answers, but boy I have the full panini sticker album of questions. So.. because I know your all so keen to finish this article and read something interesting, here they are: 

Is Abou Diaby going to be our new starting centre midfielder? Having been deployed primarily on the left wing since his serious ankle injury against Sunderland, are 4 weeks of pre-season enough for him to claim this role for the opening day fixture at West Brom? Certainly depth looks to be a problem at centre midfield now Gilberto has packed his bags for Greece, with only Denilson and Song looking the obvious choice for cover should Diaby be unavailable – however both have only limited first team experience. Nasri or Rosicky would be the likely cover for Fabregas should he be unavailable but that would similarly strain our coverage for the wings and probably be too much for Rosicky’s fragile frame anyhow. 

Will Rosicky and Eduardo be fit for the start of the season? If Rosicky fails to be ready for the first game of the new season it would likely mean a debut at left midfield for either Samir Nasri or Aaron Ramsey. Typically Wenger has tended to avoid throwing new signings straight in from the start, particularly as he feels players need time to adapt to the Premier League (learning how to not get your ankle broken for example). Though Eduardo has obviously come along way in his recovery from his serious leg injury, he is unlikely to be available to start against West Brom. This would mean Emmanuel ‘Retirement Package’ Adebayor having to start up front despite question marks over his commitment to the club and the reception he will get from the fans is likely to be less than friendly. Is his head in the right place? Well, yes, it is still sitting underneath that extremely disappointing haircut, but whether he is completely behind the new campaign is questionable. The other options would be to throw Theo up front alongside balsa wood Van Persie, or starting with Bendtner, who had a strong first season off the bench. However if Adebayor is not able to start then there seems little point keeping last seasons top scorer on the bench where his value is only going to depreciate. 

On the right wing, I’m particularly keen to know who Wenger’s preferred option is. Does Hleb’s departure mean Theo going to be a regular starter, or will Nasri slot in on the right (assuming Rosicky is fit for the left)… and what does this mean for Emmanuel Eboué? Hopefully an extended spell as a bus driver.

Turning to our defence, despite Wenger claiming at the end of the season that he was interested in bring in a new defender who was strong in the air, the distractions of Flamini, Hleb and Adebayor means that has well and truly been shelved for now. So are we to assume Philippe Senderos has been rehabilitated or is he still a nutter? And what of Djourou? He looked average on loan to Birmingham and Wenger seems to no longer rate him. So does this mean Alex Song is our 4th choice Centre Back, as well as possibly being backup for the holding midfield role? The young lad surprised a lot of gooners and did reasonably well at the tail end of the season, and of course he has the hair style that I always consider a mark of potential (see the Valderama Theory) but any extended spell where Song could end up partnering Senderos in our back line scares the Danny Shittu’s out of me.

Of course the most positive news of the off season was Gael Clichy signing a new deal, and with Sagna also tied to a long term contract, we arguably have the two best fullbacks in the league at the moment. The depth at these positions is far more questionable. Gallas is certainly able to cover Clichy’s left back slot if needed, whilst Armand Traore looks far better on the wing than at left back at the moment. I doubt many Gooners would want to see him get any extended run in the league there if Clichy were to be unavailable. 

Right back certainly became a problem position for us once Sagna got injured. Despite his problems, Eboué remains a reasonable option as cover for right back, far more so than Justin Hoyte, who despite his wonderful loyalty to the club, doesn’t look to have the quality nor the potential needed to play for a title challenging side. Touré can also provide cover though he looked lost at times slung out wide right. 

On to the goalkeepers, with Mad Jens gone, will things be a little too comfortable for Manuel Almunia now? Fabianski and Mannone are by no means Premier League quality yet, let alone players you’d feel comfortable throwing into the mix in the Champions League should Almunia be injured. I would hope Wenger is looking seriously at the availability of top quality goalkeepers at the moment because we look extremely vulnerable in this position. If Almunia were to blind himself peroxiding his hair, and we had to face Chelski, United or someone like Barcelona in the Champions League, I’m not sure our defence would feel particularly confident with such an inexperienced goalkeeper in Fabianski behind them, despite his obvious potential. And of course Mannone is a completely unknown quantity playing at the top level. 

That all said, a look at our current squad size indicates that unless some players are loaned our or sold, very little is likely to change between now and the start of the season. I had a look back at our squads since 1999, and it seems Wenger favour’s a first team squad of 25 players – in fact in each season since 1999 his first team squad has been 25 (this doesn’t include the occasional run in a dead tie at the end of the season, or League Cup game). With Flamini, Gilberto, Hleb and Lehmann all gone, but Mannone, Vela, Nasri and Ramsey coming in, we are currently sitting at 25 players. But we surely need a centre midfielder, and the link this week to Garry Barry of Villa has certainly taken a lot of Gooners interest. He ticks all the boxes – has loads of Premier League experience meaning Wenger could throw him in to the starting XI for the West Brom game and know he’d be able to do a job, is versatile as he can cover left back and left midfield if needed, takes a good penalty and is a natural leader. We know Villa have an interest in Justin Hoyte, who, if the Eboué experiment is ended, would be surplus to requirements as a reserve right back. We also know Wenger has long been an admirer of Barry going back several years. The real question is whether or not the funds are there for a player who is up for sale for 18 million. So was the money spent on Nasri and Ramsey knowing we have to recoup it by selling Hleb and Gilberto (which totals around 17 – 19 million depending on who you believe) or is it now available to Wenger for further replacements? 

Whether it is or not, I think almost everyone would agree that right now, and despite what we all thought prior to the end of the season, some money needs to be spent to bring in someone to bolster our defensive midfield position. What amount of money is available will probably determine the quality, but I cannot imagine that we can go into the new season without strengthening this area. Some may be prepared to give Diaby time to prove himself, and Denilson time to mature, and point to Flamini’s sudden emergence last season before discounting them. However Flamini excelled at a time when there was strong competition for the job. Diarra was still on the books and Gilberto had come off his most successful season with us plus of course Diaby and Denilson in the mix as well. Flamini proved himself to Wenger, who equally knew he could fall back on two other strong players if needed. If both Diaby and Denilson fail to raise their game, there is currently no other option available to Wenger other than moving another player out of position (such as pushing Touré forward) and would be a huge gamble once the transfer window slams shut. 

One this is for sure though, there isn’t currently room or money available for an Arshavin this summer.

By Paul Wright

 

Other stuff

I’m in the process of nicking up the site and doing stuff ‘in the background’ a bit like the way I hope Wenger is doing transfers – without anyone knowing. There will be slight changes, cosmetic ones, you know that sort of malarkey. So apologies for the lack of activity yesterday Gooners, but don’t fret, the ‘newish’ look will be up either tomorrow or more than likely – on Monday. 

I would like to add some bits about the Hleb transfer. Well thank f*ck for that – he’s gone, It’s over. We don’t need to hear from that bleating twat about ‘noisy’ London life and such. One thing that did get me was when he got to Barcelona was that the Bell-End-Russian said it was ‘a dream’ – don’t get me wrong I’m sure it’s a dream to go to Barca, I’m not that short sighted but when Hleb said:

“I love this team”

That kind of stuck in my throat. There was no thank you to Arsène Wenger, his former team mates or even the fans who put up with him playing shit for three years and when he did finally come good (well goodish if you actually check Hleb’s stats) he can’t get away quick enough to live his tranquil life. Well all I can say is Hleb I hope you you love the bench as much as you love the team. Sour grapes? You betcha! 

Also on the subject of a Barcelona love-in, Zenit St. Petersburg’s play maker Andrei Arshavin is getting increasingly desperate especially after his agent basically did a ‘please, please, please come and get me’ plea for his client towards The Arsenal. Well it turns out Arshavin’s love for The Arsenal is so great he wants Barcelona to sign him. You can guess the next installment on this if The Arsenal don’t make a move for him and Barca don’t come a knocking Arshavin will no doubt say how much he loves spurs! 

Lastly, the video below was sent in to me by a reader. you may of seen it on another Arsenal website but in case you haven’t, have a butchers, it’s well worth your pocket money. So big up to Chris Jake’s to sending this to us. Good work Gooner.

That’s about my lot today, have yourself a great day Gooners – see you in the comments

Arsenal in signing shocker, Life In The Slow Lane, Gallas to remain captain?

The Arsenal have wrapped up a signing so unexpected that it has taken everyone by surprise that sites are falling over themselves trying to get the story, oh hang on no their not, it’s only that Nasri fella. So we’re finally signed Olympic Marseille starlet Samir Nasri! Well thank f*ck for that, that’s all I can say. The transfer of Nasri is on record as being one of the most protracted transfers in history that officials are having a word with The Guinness Book of Records to see where it stands amongst other drawn out transfers. Any road up, like the Canadian Mounties we got our man, finally, lets hope it was worth the wait. 

The 20 year old has said of the joining London’s finest:

“I’m very happy to become an Arsenal player, it means such a lot to me. This is a very important step in my life as a football player because Arsenal is a massive club. I really hope everything will go well for me here. I will do my best for Arsenal and its fans and I am honoured to be part of such a great football club.”

Love that, he is honoured, let’s hope he keeps that outlook and doesn’t get money hungry or think London is too noisy to stick around and make a success of himself and the club. The Arsenal official website has much more on the transfer, so have a butchers there, where you can see Nasri in his new Arsenal garms, his fact file and such trinkets. As widely expected Samir Nasri takes hold of the famous number eight shirt, which was most recently worn by Freddie Ljungberg and before him goal king Ian Wright Wright Wright, so good they named him thrice.

So we’ve wrapped another signing, which is nice. However what with wily coach Arsène Wenger claiming he was going to make two or three ‘class’ signings, we’re in need of more reinforcements as Mathieu Flamoney has already gone and what with the Samir Nasri signing that paves the way for Bell-end-Russian Alex Hleb to do one to… well where ever, somewhere quiet no doubt. Somewhere on a farm or near a lake, somewhere nice and tranquil. He’ll go we know that much, as much as Hleb is a very skillful and technically gifted player he wont be missed if Nasri can get more than seven assists and score more than five goals a season. So Samir Nasri I wish you well on your Arsenal journey, Good luck.

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Life In The Slow Lane

By Paul Wright 

 

Well, things are really happening in this off season. We’ve got Samir Nasri signed.. erm…well.. not quite.. but…hang on a minute we’ve finally bagged our man… Hleb’s issues have all been sorted… oh.. wait.. no.. I suppose not. Well whatever happens at least we’ve got super striker Manu Adebayor pledging his loyalty to the… what? Really? Oh… never mind then.

And it’s not just us. The whole of world football seems to be shut down. It’s like it’s the off-season or something. Gary Barry seems to have been moving to ScousePool USA since 1982, whilst the Ronaldo saga is moving about as fast as Stephen Hawking in a race up the stairs of the Empire State Building.

But i’m sure in this there must be something to comment on. We’ve got Cesc dedicating his win to Arsenal. That’s nice. And Welsh Wonder Kid Aaron Ramsey is talking up pushing for a first team place. Good. Excellent.

So with very little to review, I guess it is my duty to work on some mindless speculation… starting with the rumour that Arsene is after the Spanish midfielder Ruben De La Red. I think this sounds brilliant. For one, he sounds like a pirate, and Ruben the Red seems like a wonderfully appropriate name for an Arsenal player. And there simply aren’t enough famous Ruben’s these days. 

The still wonderfully named Arshavin is also still in the mix. I’m personally not sure if he is a one hit wonder or a properly good player… but with so many players apparently outward bound I suppose it would be nice to have a player who will really get the fans talking coming into the side….

… besides.. if it gives me a chance to work gags about his name into my column every week then i’m all for it.

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Other bits

Other news doing the rounds is that Columbian hitman Falcao says he’s excited by the thought of The Arsenal being interested in him. Well if Adebayaaawn is to go, you can take your pick of players The Arsenal will be lining up including the likes Roque Santa Cruz, Klaas-Jan Huntelaar, Benzema, Podolski, David Silva, Samuel Eto’o – continue to fade… Like I said yesterday Wenger is being too quiet in my opinion, which I hope is a good thing as I hope he is pulling the strings in the background, we’ll see. 

Next week I’m going to tackle the question of who should be The Arsenal captain and see what you Gooners are thinking. I was reading my Arsenal membership magazine this morning and there’s a big piece about Cap’n Billy Gallas called ‘My changing room’ where he gives his opinion on the players. It doesn’t say anything you wouldn’t think of already, with loads of cut and past phrases such as ‘good professional’, ‘good guy’, ‘I respect him’ and such gems nothing like ‘I think he’s a big headed twat’, ‘I have no friends here’, ‘He is greedy’ and such. However it just made me think, if the official magazine is giving Gallas so much air time, what’s the chances of him getting the captaincy taken away? It would lead to much more than that as well. Gallas is the second oldest player at The Arsenal now, with Gilberto Silva being the oldest. However with many people believing he should be stripped off the captaincy, it would have to go to a younger player as I don’t believe Wenger would make Gilberto captain (he might be off before the season starts as well if many reports are to be believed), so would Gallas stick around and take orders from a younger player with less experience? Well who knows? But that’s going to be one issue I shall be tackling next week to keep us all us thinking and letting our frontal lobes ticking over as we get bored senseless with the Adebayaaawn / Hleb shenanigans. 

Let me know your thoughts Gooners, see you in the comments section..

Some stuff you may already know but one you might not but will shock you..

So C*ntley C*nt gets voted in as number 25 greatest Arsenal player of all time, you sure? Who the f*ck voted for this little toe rag? If C*ntley C*nt isn’t the most despised Arsenal player of all time for his money grabbing, clandestine hotel meeting shenanigans I don’t know who is. Is there seriously another candidate to match this little f*cker’s actions and morals. I don’t anyone who likes this player, even non-Arsenal fans booed him for his money grabbing antics when he left, in fact even today many of my non-Arsenal mates thinks this little shit is the epitome of what’s bad in football, I hear even his wife speaks highly of him too! I think whoever voted for the money grabbing dwarf, pop tart marrying, unscrupulous, little shit should have their nuts placed in a spiked vice operated by ‘father beans and fine chianti’ loving Hannibal Lecter. OK but enough of that rant. 

The Alex Hleb saga is continuing.. ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzz, you can add a groan in there too. one of Barcelona’s people have come out and said they are in talks, but didn’t we know this already? I just realised I just broke one of my golden rules – I wasn’t going to post anything about Hleb until it was confirmed he was sold, sorry about that. Anyway I’m sure he’ll be sold soon enough. I had a thought last night about Barcelona and how they conduct business and seem specifically targeting Arsenal players even though the players are under contract (like that means anything) and are more importantly are not for sale (like that means anything). Do you reckon as well that the Barcelona hierarchy are still pissed by the fact that we got hold of Cesc Fabregas for f*ck all and will do all they can to get under our skin and generally be as disruptive as possible? It seems the Catalan giants are on a one team mission to destroy The Arsenal and just take any player we have. Or am I just being really paranoid? 

Samir Nasri (OK another groan) is apparently going to have his medical today and finally sign up after the longest transfer deal in history! But if doesn’t happen today, then tomorrow, if not tomorrow then the day after and so on and so forth. You get the picture. 

One strange linkage for us at the moment is the Russian Andrei Arshavin who some papers The Daily Telegraph included are saying we’re lining up. Now sure about you good people, but anyone out there got deja vue or is it a case of gold fish type memory. Think back to January when Arsène Wenger was having a look at possible recruits, well Arshavin was one of those players. This in my opinion isn’t exactly breaking news. If anything I think (or would hope) Wenger put a deal in place way back in January with the Zenit St Petersburg player to join. Surely waiting this long and in particular during an international competition to snag a player who will possible go on to have a great competition would push his price tag through the roof. Wenger could of possible got him in January for say between £5-10m but remember Wenger also said he didn’t need new players in the January transfer window, so hopefully what with Wenger being a right shrewd so and so he put Arshavin ‘on ice’ and it’s a done deal already. Remember good people by the time the stories make the papers/sites these are normally done deals, but I guess we’ll see. 

Lastly, when I was coming to work today I nearly choked on my bacon sandwich when I read something about West Ham United player Craig Bellamy. No he wasn’t in the paper for whacking a team mate with a golf club or getting into an altercation with some fat lass in a Welsh night club, not even close. The story couldn’t be any further from that, the player most love to hate has actually put in £650,000 of his own cash to found a programme for kids in Sierra Leone. The programme is called The Craig Bellamy Foundation, the player has said he isn’t looking to make a profit or in it for personal gain but just wants to do some good. 

“I’m not looking for the next Didier Drogba, as long as the every child leaves ready with a good education. It will be my second home. I have no doubt about that.’ 

I must admit my opinion of Bellamy has changed, I don’t think I would say that in a million years. But fair play to Craig Bellamy for doing something like that, he recognises he is in a privileged position and wants to give back to those who don’t have it as good. So Craig Bellamy I salute you, who would of thought I would give Bellamy praise, your heart is obviously in the right place. Now I wonder if C*ntley C*nt would do that because he wanted an extra five grand a week?

Jump on the comments section and have your shout – see you in there! 

Big up Adebayor / Robin on money / Barca again!

Emmanuel Adebayor has gone and followed Cesc Fabregas by saying he aint quitting, thus leaving many a British newspaper / site a bit moody as they wont be able to fill their spaces with crap. That also goes for any Spanish newspapers/sites as apparently Arsenal’s sister club Barcelona made Adebayor their number one target. However The Togonator™ has pissed on their and anyone else’s parade who was after him as well as putting a smile on Gooners faces. The big fella said:

‘I came to Arsenal with a mission to succeed. ‘I’ve assured the gaffer Arsene Wenger I’ll stay because I believe in the team and I want to assure the fans my concentration is here. I have no reason to leave so I’ll stay to ensure that together we’ll win silverware.

‘Mathieu’s a good player but his departure doesn’t mean Arsenal is about to collapse. Our team is a deep well of talent.

‘I am confident we are capable of winning titles and we will return for next season hungrier to be successful.’

So nice one Ade you’ve put many a Gooner’s mind at rest with that statement. Even though Ade missed a shedload last season, he did score 30 goals, he’s still only 24 and can only get better right? It still amazes me after all the goals he scored and not just only against shit teams as some people suggest (he scored against the manc’s and against Liverpool in both the Premier League and Champions League games) that he still gets a lot of flak. Oh well, just no pleasing some people is there?But Ade – well done on coming out with your ‘I’m staying and going to be successful’ rant.

It’s been a couple of days now since his statement, but I didn’t bother write up anything on it but think I will now. What am I on about? Well Robin van Persie who is already raking in more dirty cash in a year than any of us will ever see in a lifetime says The Arsenal should pay more. Now I’m not sure if his comments were taken out of context:

“This group is unique. If a number of them leave it will be different.

“Arsenal have a policy in which they will not go over a specific amount of money when agreeing the salary of a player.

“They won’t pay enormous amounts of money. I think that they should go to a higher level of salary.”

For sake of argument lets say he was quoted correctly, all I would say to young Robin is, sod The Arsenal having to pay more – how about you play more! 

Apart from that good people not much to write about, we’re still waiting for the signing of Samir Nasri or anyone else for that matter. All I can think of is if Barcelona are wanting Alex Hleb is there a player there we could do a swap deal with? There’s got to be one or two, how about Carles Puyol he could do the job of defensive enforcer as he’s a big ugly strong brute.

So Gooners, let’s get on it and get this started – happy blogging, lets see what’s on your minds..

The New Zidane / Cesc & Hleb Speak

And so it is nearly over.. word around the web and even from the player himself (speaking on French radio) is that that Samir Nasri has signed for Arsenal. Well thank **** for that. Apparently he is already being given the tag of ‘The new Zidane’ which ex Liverpool muppet Bruno Cheyrou kindly gave back demanding a refund. For the sake of all us Gooners, I hope this tag doesn’t stick, because there is no worse hoodoo than to be given a ‘the next…’ tag. Rarely does a player ever ascend to the greatness of the player he is supposedly going to emulate. 

Which is why I think we need to work on a different form of ‘the next…’ tag line. Why are we always aiming the fortunes of our young players at the games greats. Why not aim a little lower to give them a fighting chance. So with that i’d like to introduce a few of our youngsters: 

- The exciting Carlos “The new Kaba Diawara’ Vela 

- In midfield we can look forward to seeing Jack ‘the next Stefan Malz’ Wilshire. 

- Young determined centre back, and captain of the reserve team, Harvard ‘hopefully better than the previous Gus Caesar’ Nordveit. 

So hopefully Samir Nasri will ignore the hype the press is whipping up, and not aim to become a balding overweight player who likes to headbutt Italian defenders. He would certainly win over the fans quicker if he instead aimed to be Samir ‘scored more goals than Alex Hleb and kicked Eboué up in the air at training’ Nasri… 

Other news

Well the saga that is Alex Hleb’s future continues to make news. This tale is getting more like a soap opera now, with a new twist here and there with a shit story line. With everyone believing it’s just a matter of which club Hleb will be off to, the Bell-end-Russian (supposed to resemble Belarussian. OK well it worked in rehearsal dagnamit!) has come out and said:

“I have read that I have said I want to leave, but I do not know who has written it. That is nonsense.

“I have also read that I wanted to move because Arsenal would win nothing, this too is nonsense.”

Well Alex if you were wondering who wrote or said you wanted to leave The Arsenal take one look at your agent who’s been chatting more than Don King on cocaine. Hleb continues wittering on about a load of stuff and nonsense but the main bit is his laughable not knowing who’s been chatting his business. Very strange that. So what’s the next installment in this caper, Hleb sold to Barcelona no doubt. 

Speaking of Barcelona they are once again conducting their transfer policy via the media by announcing they are after Emmanuel Adebayor. I just don’t why Barcelona just don’t be done with and change their name to Barcelona a la Arsenal FC, f*ck it would be a lot easier as they want to be us. 

Cesc ‘The Cesc™’ Fabregas has said he’s staying with The Arsenal. I’m not sure who’s benefit that was for as I personally as well as many Gooners who don’t believe everything TriballFootball, ClubCall or FansFC or even the Daily Mail online say wasn’t under any illusion that he was going to go. The media would just love there to be an exodus so I reckon The Cesc™ made the comments to stop any sillyness kicking off and letting us, the fans, know the coo.

Latest transfer shenanigans doing the rounds is that we’re after Wolves keeper Wayne Hennessey. First time I’ve seen that linkage but who knows it could be a goer. I know Manuel Almunia stepped up to the plate last season but I’m personally not convinced, I have know idea what this Hennessey fella is like, all I know is he’s a bit brute (6′ 4′) and he’s a Welsh international. Given that Le Gaffer Arsène Wenger OBE really fancies Almunia to do the job as was reflected in the Spanaird signing a contract extension before the season was out and heaping praise on Lukasz Fabianski it could be unlikely, i’ll guess we’ll see soon enough.

Other than that Gooners apparently we’re closing in Miguel Veloso who wont come cheap to fill in that void left by Mathuie Flamoney. However Young Gun Johan Djourou says he can do the job for Le Gaffer. It’s not the first time the player has come and out and said this, also he plays that role in the reserves and seems very adept at it too, but once again time will tell. 

So Gooners we’ve made a signing in Samir Nasri, how about getting that centre back Wenger was on about?

Win that ‘Let’s talk about Cesc baby’ t-shirt

OK folks to keep the boredom at bay and keep the ball rolling (excuse the pun) Allgoonerdup is running another win a t-shirt contest. And due to the avalanche of entries in the ‘Let’s talk about Cesc Baby!’ t-shirt entries I am putting that t-shirt back in the shop window. So in order to win this bit of clobber simply tell us, how old was Cesc Fabregas when he made his Arsenal debut?

Send your answers, name and postal address plus your choice of t-shirt, colour and size to:

iwannafreebie@allgoonerdup.com

Competition closes Monday 16 June.

Good luck Gooners.

Have a great day blogging good people, tell your mates about the comments section and lets get this party started right… jump on and enjoy

 

Nasri signed up, Hleb still here, Defender to Juve?

Good day to you Gooners, hang on to your hats as today the rumour mill is going through the roof. Hot on the ‘transfer-o-metre’ and making it break and crack like some old gadget in a 1960′s James Bond film is that we have signed French sensation Samir Nasri. The well respected French newspaper L’Equipe reckon Nasri has signed up already. A couple of sites reckon he’ll be signed up tomorrow after completing a medical and signing personal terms. This signing looks like it could be a goer as even fans on Olympic Marseille’s fans forum are busy saying their goodbyes to the star player. If your French is up to scratch you could do worst than to see some of the messages. 

Speaking of goers, Alex Hleb is still at The Arsenal but for how long? His agent has been a bit quiet this week and there’s been no talk from Alex of how life in London is too hectic and he wants to return to the farm. Well the Belarussian will be perplexed to learn that the very rural Real Madrid are chasing after him. Will he swap the heady, busy streets of London for the countryside of Madrid? Does young Alex know where Madrid is? he probably thinks its some fishing village seeing that no one told him about London. 

I wouldn’t lose any sleep if Hleb were to leave, if he’s making all these noises about going we should just take the money and run. I think £20m should do the trick and with that dirty cash we could go out and buy another creative player, Hatem Ben Afra, Diego anyone? Although it has to be said if we do get Samir Nasri the clever money is on Ben Afra going to Olympic Marseille to replace Nasri, so bang goes that signing. 

The other big rumour doing the rounds is apparently Juventus are sniffing around Phillippe Senderos. Now wasn’t this the same story doing the rounds about two or three years ago? This time out unless it was a copy and paste by some lazy-arsed journo Juventus are willing to splash out £5m on the much maligned defender. I say £5m plus you have to take Emmanuel Eboué and you got yourself a deal, job done. 

And lastly you have to have a laugh at Mathieu Flamoney who reckons that his move to AC Milan wasn’t money motivated. Strange that, it reminds me a bit of the Shakespeare play Othello, with the infamous ‘The lady doth protest too much, methinks.’ Why is Flamini constantly banging on about not doing it for the money even when he’s being asked ‘what’s your favourite band?’ Well only Flamoney can answer that question I guess folks. 

Win a ‘Cesc’ T-shirt competition: OK folks to keep the boredom at bay and keep the ball rolling (excuse the pun) Allgoonerdup is running another win a t-shirt contest. And due to the avalanche of entries in the ‘Let’s talk about Cesc Baby!’ t-shirt entries I am putting that t-shirt back in the shop window. So in order to win this bit of clobber simply tell us, how old was Cesc Fabregas when he made his Arsenal debut?

Send your answers, name and postal address plus your choice of t-shirt, colour and size to:

iwannafreebie@allgoonerdup.com

Nasri rumours gather pace, Swiss Tony reckons he’s staying, Kolo news and other bits

So what have we got for you readers today? Well the main story doing the rounds and gathering plenty of pace is the possible signing of 20 year old Samir Nasri. Being that the player is young and French you would of thought he was a definite shoe in for a spot at Ashburton Grove. But on scoring for Marseille in the final league game in Ligue 1 Nasri was quoted as saying: 

“It is very important because it is perhaps my last match at the Stade Velodrome.” 

Obviously cue frantic headlines, journo’s, websites going mental. So what do you Gooners reckon? Do you really think Nasri will be seen in the famous red and white of The Arsenal? So what’s with the Hatem Ben Afra stories? They seem to of died a death. I can’t see Wenger getting both Nasri and Ben Afra, it would be nice, but it wont happen. If Wenger decides to offload Hleb (on Arsenal terms not Hleb’s or his agent) then maybe it could be a goer as there will be money from the Hleb sale and another space to fill on the pitch. 

Le Gaffer has already said he wants to get two or three players, and that includes a big, ugly, dirty centre back and possibly a defensive midfielder to replace the departed not to be playing any Champions League football next season Mathieu Flamoney. However many a site reckon the deal for Samir Nasri is a done deal. But you guys know the drill by now, until it is on the official Arsenal site you can’t really believe anyone, I mean you wouldn’t believe we’ve signed Ben Afra if it appeared on TribalFootball would you? What is good though is that Wenger seems to be going for players that will excite next season. 

That said, will Wenger bring in a ready-made replacement for Flamini? We’ve been linked to Miguel Veloso of Sporting and Roma’s Alberto Aquilani, but is that just smoke an mirrors.

Wenger wants to get his deals done in the next couple of weeks, so at least we don’t have to go all summer linked with players and not knowing what will happen. I’m sure the players Le Gaffer has earmarked he’s working overtime to get them to sign up, oh well we can hope. I haven’t seen Alberto Aquilani or Miguel Veloso play in detail and I don’t believe watching YouTube videos to see if a player is ‘the shit’ as I’m sure even Emmanuel Eboué’s YouTube video makes him look like Pelé. 

Other news doing the rounds is we have Phillippe ‘Swiss Tony’ Senderos saying Wenger wants to keep him. I think that ship has passed with Senderos now. He hasn’t turned out to be the player we all hoped, by the way the big Swiss fella will be stripped of the ‘Swiss Tony’ nickname part as well, as he is nothing like Tony! We all know there is at least one mistake in Senderos in a game but I think all he can hope for is a bit part for The Arsenal. Even Alex Song was getting played ahead of the Swiss fella, that doesn’t bode well for someone wanting a first team start. Add to that the fact Wenger has earmarked a centre back to bring into the fray as well. I’m not sure about you readers but to me that spells the beginning of the end of Senderos.

Other bits to chat quickly about is once again we’ve been linked with £16million-rated Fiorentina goalkeeper Sebastien Frey and being that he is French and young, The Arsenal of course we are linked. We’ve been linked with Frey since he turned 16 and I think he’s about 28 now. I don’t see this happening, two reasons – 1, Not for £16m will The Arsenal buy a goalkeeper, hell no! 2. Almunia signed a contract extension only a couple of months ago and Wenger seems to have complete faith in him, thus transfer to The Arsenal = not bloody likely. 

And lastly a couple of sites have got our own King Kolo mouthing off about captain William Gallas’ captaincy and not being too happy about it. I wouldn’t read too much into that, Kolo Touré isn’t that type of player to mouth of in public, it’s amazing that the story has absolutely no quotes from the player, his agent or even the infamous ‘inside source’, I guess the paper/sites still have spaces to fill though. Let’s hope they are filled with players we have signed!