Arsenal in signing shocker, Life In The Slow Lane, Gallas to remain captain?

The Arsenal have wrapped up a signing so unexpected that it has taken everyone by surprise that sites are falling over themselves trying to get the story, oh hang on no their not, it’s only that Nasri fella. So we’re finally signed Olympic Marseille starlet Samir Nasri! Well thank f*ck for that, that’s all I can say. The transfer of Nasri is on record as being one of the most protracted transfers in history that officials are having a word with The Guinness Book of Records to see where it stands amongst other drawn out transfers. Any road up, like the Canadian Mounties we got our man, finally, lets hope it was worth the wait. 

The 20 year old has said of the joining London’s finest:

“I’m very happy to become an Arsenal player, it means such a lot to me. This is a very important step in my life as a football player because Arsenal is a massive club. I really hope everything will go well for me here. I will do my best for Arsenal and its fans and I am honoured to be part of such a great football club.”

Love that, he is honoured, let’s hope he keeps that outlook and doesn’t get money hungry or think London is too noisy to stick around and make a success of himself and the club. The Arsenal official website has much more on the transfer, so have a butchers there, where you can see Nasri in his new Arsenal garms, his fact file and such trinkets. As widely expected Samir Nasri takes hold of the famous number eight shirt, which was most recently worn by Freddie Ljungberg and before him goal king Ian Wright Wright Wright, so good they named him thrice.

So we’ve wrapped another signing, which is nice. However what with wily coach Arsène Wenger claiming he was going to make two or three ‘class’ signings, we’re in need of more reinforcements as Mathieu Flamoney has already gone and what with the Samir Nasri signing that paves the way for Bell-end-Russian Alex Hleb to do one to… well where ever, somewhere quiet no doubt. Somewhere on a farm or near a lake, somewhere nice and tranquil. He’ll go we know that much, as much as Hleb is a very skillful and technically gifted player he wont be missed if Nasri can get more than seven assists and score more than five goals a season. So Samir Nasri I wish you well on your Arsenal journey, Good luck.

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Life In The Slow Lane

By Paul Wright 

 

Well, things are really happening in this off season. We’ve got Samir Nasri signed.. erm…well.. not quite.. but…hang on a minute we’ve finally bagged our man… Hleb’s issues have all been sorted… oh.. wait.. no.. I suppose not. Well whatever happens at least we’ve got super striker Manu Adebayor pledging his loyalty to the… what? Really? Oh… never mind then.

And it’s not just us. The whole of world football seems to be shut down. It’s like it’s the off-season or something. Gary Barry seems to have been moving to ScousePool USA since 1982, whilst the Ronaldo saga is moving about as fast as Stephen Hawking in a race up the stairs of the Empire State Building.

But i’m sure in this there must be something to comment on. We’ve got Cesc dedicating his win to Arsenal. That’s nice. And Welsh Wonder Kid Aaron Ramsey is talking up pushing for a first team place. Good. Excellent.

So with very little to review, I guess it is my duty to work on some mindless speculation… starting with the rumour that Arsene is after the Spanish midfielder Ruben De La Red. I think this sounds brilliant. For one, he sounds like a pirate, and Ruben the Red seems like a wonderfully appropriate name for an Arsenal player. And there simply aren’t enough famous Ruben’s these days. 

The still wonderfully named Arshavin is also still in the mix. I’m personally not sure if he is a one hit wonder or a properly good player… but with so many players apparently outward bound I suppose it would be nice to have a player who will really get the fans talking coming into the side….

… besides.. if it gives me a chance to work gags about his name into my column every week then i’m all for it.

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Other bits

Other news doing the rounds is that Columbian hitman Falcao says he’s excited by the thought of The Arsenal being interested in him. Well if Adebayaaawn is to go, you can take your pick of players The Arsenal will be lining up including the likes Roque Santa Cruz, Klaas-Jan Huntelaar, Benzema, Podolski, David Silva, Samuel Eto’o – continue to fade… Like I said yesterday Wenger is being too quiet in my opinion, which I hope is a good thing as I hope he is pulling the strings in the background, we’ll see. 

Next week I’m going to tackle the question of who should be The Arsenal captain and see what you Gooners are thinking. I was reading my Arsenal membership magazine this morning and there’s a big piece about Cap’n Billy Gallas called ‘My changing room’ where he gives his opinion on the players. It doesn’t say anything you wouldn’t think of already, with loads of cut and past phrases such as ‘good professional’, ‘good guy’, ‘I respect him’ and such gems nothing like ‘I think he’s a big headed twat’, ‘I have no friends here’, ‘He is greedy’ and such. However it just made me think, if the official magazine is giving Gallas so much air time, what’s the chances of him getting the captaincy taken away? It would lead to much more than that as well. Gallas is the second oldest player at The Arsenal now, with Gilberto Silva being the oldest. However with many people believing he should be stripped off the captaincy, it would have to go to a younger player as I don’t believe Wenger would make Gilberto captain (he might be off before the season starts as well if many reports are to be believed), so would Gallas stick around and take orders from a younger player with less experience? Well who knows? But that’s going to be one issue I shall be tackling next week to keep us all us thinking and letting our frontal lobes ticking over as we get bored senseless with the Adebayaaawn / Hleb shenanigans. 

Let me know your thoughts Gooners, see you in the comments section..